Toxic Workplaces and the 3 Truths That Helped Me Leave One
A couple of weeks ago, on a Thursday morning, the muse or the mood must have been with me. I wrote a short post, attached a smiley photo of myself, and posted it to LinkedIn. The Internet didn't exactly blow up, but a lot of people connected with my story, which I'll share in a minute, and you can see the original post here.
As you'll see below, I write about escaping a toxic workplace.
I don't want people to work in ways that demean them.
I don't want people to suffer IN a toxic workplace or suffer FROM the effects of a toxic workplace.
People? What do I mean, people — I mean YOU.
Because...
Only you can do the things you do the way you do them.
Only you can take your life's experiences and build from them.
Only you can choose to: Work better, live more. #WorkKind
Read on...will you choose to reclaim your power?
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It was the best job in the world...until it wasn't.
I was waking up every weekday and wishing I hadn't. My first thoughts were of the upcoming workday — the conflicts and meetings that would take up my time and leave me with no time to do my work — too much work that the team and I were expected to complete in too little time and with too few resources. Every day was stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.
I was burned out. Struggling. Not giving my best at work. Or in the rest of my life. Family and friends looked on helplessly, not knowing how to support me but wishing they could.
Work can and should be a source of great joy, meaning, creativity, personal achievement, and pride... but for far too many of us, it isn't.
85% of us hate or are disengaged from our jobs.
Maybe this is you now. Or maybe my story speaks to you because you've been here and fear being here again.
It doesn't have to be this way.
Kindness is the answer.
Kindness to self. Kindness to others. Kindness to the planet.
Kindness at work.
It's not soft. It's not gentle. It's not weak.
Kindness is having the courage to speak up and act when you know something is wrong.
Kindness is putting other people first because that's what the team and the project need.
Kindness is thriving at work.
It is how YOU create work that is full of joy, meaning, and positive impact.
It is literally thriving at work — every day increasing numbers of people like you and me stand up and say, "I will not work this way any more."
There is a quiet, kind revolution at work.
It started for me when I left a job I hated to live a life I love.
Now, I'm blessed to be surrounded by a growing group of people who are kind to their core. Who #WorkKind for themselves, for others, and for the planet.
As one of our members described us: "It's a space to share and talk with compassionate executives without feeling like you're a weirdo for wanting something different at work."
And another member shared a quote from Marcus Rashford: "Always remember, kindness is power."
Kindness is power. When are you going to reclaim yours?
Join us. Join your tribe. Join the #WorkKind Community.
Work better, live more. #WorkKind
#WorkKind is a choice
It is a choice to work better and live better.
It is a choice to work with kindness.
Kindness to self. Kindness to others. Kindness to the planet.
Kindness at work.
It's not soft. It's not gentle. It's not weak.
Kindness is having the courage to speak up and act when you know something is wrong.
Kindness is putting other people first because that's what the team and the project need.
Kindness is the meeting where everyone is seen, heard, and leaves fired up for the work ahead.
Kindness is a commitment in thought, word and action to leave everyone and everything better.
Kindness is thriving at work.
It is how YOU create work that is full of joy, meaning, and positive impact.
It is literally thriving at work — every day increasing numbers of people like you and me stand up and say, "I will not work this way any more."
There is a quiet, kind revolution at work.
Kindness is power. Power to us all.
Reclaim your power.
Work better, live better. #WorkKind
Change, Accept, or Leave
Way back in the 1970s in the UK, we had the "Winter of Discontent," a period of labour unrest in the United Kingdom that took place in late 1978 and early 1979. It was marked by a series of strikes by public sector workers, including refuse collectors, hospital workers, and transport workers, among others. The strikes were a result of widespread dissatisfaction with pay and working conditions, as well as broader economic issues such as inflation. The strikes caused widespread disruption, with piles of uncollected garbage on the streets and hospital services severely impacted. How far we've progressed...
Anyway, back then, the American economist and sociologist Albert O. Hirschman developed his "Exit, Voice, Loyalty” Model. It's a framework individuals use to respond to dissatisfaction with an organisation or system. When people are unhappy, as they are in toxic workplaces, they have three options:
Exit: Individuals leave or withdraw support from the system in response to dissatisfaction.
Voice: Individuals express their discontent and attempt to bring about change.
Loyalty: Individuals remain within the system despite dissatisfaction due to various reasons.
In a recent podcast with Brené Brown and Simon Sinek, when talking about "Quiet Quitting" the organisational psychologist Adam Grant suggested a fourth option:
Neglect: Doing the minimum requirements of one's job and putting in no more time, effort, or enthusiasm than absolutely necessary.
One of my favourite questions of all time is: How is that working out for you?
It’s a question I ask anyone I talk to who is getting by at work doing the bare minimum. They're never usually that happy. So, I don’t recommend Neglect.
A Better Model: Change, Accept, or Leave
It's an upgrade from Hirschman's model and is inspired by the entrepreneur, angel investor, and author Naval Ravikant who said:
"In any situation in life, you only have three options. You always have three options. You can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it. What is not a good option is to sit around wishing you would change it but not changing it, wishing you would leave it but not leaving it, and not accepting it. It's that struggle, that aversion, that is responsible for most of our misery."
In this order:
Change: Can I change the immediate culture around me? What will it take to do that? And who is with me? You can read a step-by-step guide I wrote called How to Start a #WorkKind Revolution.
Accept: Can I put up with this? Embrace the situation as it is, recognising that it cannot be changed. (Therein, I suggest, probably lies misery.)
Leave: Is there any possibility I could get a better job that won't demean me and damage my health? You know what to do...
You've got this far. That makes me smile.
Now, do something....
Work better, live more. #WorkKind
1. Check out the #WorkKind Community.
2. Follow my stories, ideas, and practices to help you thrive on the socials that suit you.
3. And, most importantly, be kind to yourself today.
See you next Wednesday.
Magnus