Why Imperfection Is Our Friend: The Lessons from Kintsugi

How a broken cup can teach us to fully accept ourselves.

We can easily get caught up in the pursuit of perfection. We want things to be "just right," and they're never done until they are. Social media streams images of people with perfect bodies, perfectly adjusted, living perfect lives, making us feel like we're not enough, not doing enough, not living enough. That we're, frankly, imperfect.

In the late 15th century, it is said that a Japanese shogun (military ruler) broke his favourite tea bowl and sent it to China for repairs. Upon its return, he was disappointed with the clumsy metal staples used to fix it. This led to Japanese craftsmen seeking a more aesthetic means of repair, which led to the birth of Kintsugi.

Kintsugi is the practice of repairing broken ceramics with lacquer infused with precious metals like gold, silver, or platinum. Instead of discarding fractured pieces or disguising the repairs, Kintsugi celebrates the cracks and crevices. It transforms the object into something even more beautiful and valuable, accentuating the imperfections rather than hiding them. The philosophy behind Kintsugi is closely related to the Japanese concepts of "Wabi-sabi," which appreciates the beauty in imperfection, and "Mushin," which denotes a state of non-attachment. It resonates with the idea that there is value and beauty in imperfection and that damage or wear should not only be accepted but celebrated as a part of the object's history. There's a powerful lesson here: imperfection is not just inevitable but valuable, beautiful, and indeed, our friend. Here are some ways to...

Personal Growth

Just as Kintsugi highlights the history and transformation of an object, our imperfections serve as catalysts for personal growth. They provide us with a map that points to where we can learn and develop. We can either choose to dwell on these flaws or see them as opportunities for self-improvement. Like the powdered gold filling the cracks in ceramics, our efforts to address our imperfections add value to our lives, enriching our experiences and relationships.

Authentic Relationships

Kintsugi does not hide the history of an object; it glorifies it. Similarly, allowing people to see our 'real selves,' complete with flaws and past mistakes, leads to more authentic, meaningful connections. Nobody relates to a façade of perfection; it is our quirks, vulnerabilities, and even imperfections that make us human and relatable. These attributes enable us to form deeper bonds with others, founded on the recognition of mutual imperfection.

Fosters Empathy

An important aspect of embracing imperfection is the ability to extend that understanding to others. Knowing that we are all works in progress helps cultivate a sense of empathy and compassion. It becomes easier to offer kindness, patience, and understanding when you acknowledge your own flaws. As you learn to accept and even cherish your imperfections, you become better equipped to appreciate the complexities of those around you.

Creativity

Imperfection can be a wellspring of creativity. Just as the Kintsugi craftsman sees a broken object as a canvas for artistic expression, our limitations often inspire creative solutions. When faced with constraints, whether they are flaws or external challenges, our imaginative capacities are triggered. We find novel ways to adapt, create, and thrive.

Resilience and Freedom

Understanding and accepting your flaws instills a degree of resilience. The emotional fortitude that arises from handling imperfections makes it easier to bounce back from setbacks. It's akin to the Kintsugi object, which doesn't just regain its former shape but emerges more robust and stunning than before. This level of acceptance also brings a kind of freedom—the liberty to be ourselves without the constant burden of chasing perfection.

Eliminates Complacency

If everything about us were perfect, there would be no incentive to evolve or take risks. Imperfections fuel a drive to continually strive for something better. They ensure that life remains a perpetual journey of discovery and growth, rather than a static existence.

Enhances Storytelling and Teaches Humility

Like the Kintsugi object, each of us is a living narrative, complete with ups and downs, twists, and turns. Our imperfections add depth and interest to our story. They also serve as humbling reminders that none of us has all the answers, making us more open-minded and less likely to underestimate or devalue others.

Appreciation

Finally, acknowledging the beauty in imperfection, as Kintsugi so elegantly teaches us, allows us to appreciate life's intricacies. When we see the splendour in the flawed, whether in art, nature, or human interaction, we enrich our experience of the world around us.

The concept of Kintsugi offers more than an aesthetic philosophy; it provides a guide for living a fulfilling life. Imperfections aren't just tolerable; they are beneficial and offer multiple opportunities for personal and collective growth. It's time to embrace the flawed, the broken, and the imperfect, and in doing so, discover the hidden gold within us all.