Embrace the Power of Self-Kindness

Treating ourselves with the same tenderness we would offer a cherished friend.

“Be kind to your body, gentle with your mind, and patient with your heart. Stay true to your spirit, cherish your soul, and never doubt yourself. You are still becoming, my love, and there is no one more deserving of the nurturing grace of your love.” — Becca Lee, poet.

Reflect on the occasion when you allowed a deadline to be extended because you prioritised your wellbeing. Recall the moment when you celebrated your own idea, even if it didn't bask in the applause you had hoped for. Ponder over those tranquil instances just before sleep, when your thoughts were filled not with anxieties about a looming performance review but with acknowledgements of your accomplishments.

These moments might appear small, trivial, or even counterproductive. Yet they embody the undercurrent of self-kindness that quietly flows within each of us. Amid the whirlwind of our fast-paced, achievement-driven professional environments, we often neglect to recognise these subtle acts of self-compassion. It's time we acknowledged and nurtured them for what they are: the pillars of a more joyful, healthier, and productive professional existence.

Self-kindness isn't a mere concept; it's a habit, a mindset, and a conscious decision to treat ourselves with gentleness even amidst adversity. It is extending to ourselves the gift of comfort instead of criticism, patience instead of punishment, and acceptance in place of judgement. But how do we distil self-kindness to its simplest and most inspiring essence?

What is Self-Kindness?

Self-kindness is the practice of greeting our vulnerabilities, failures, and imperfections with understanding and patience rather than harsh judgement. It's the courage to observe ourselves through a lens of empathy and love, treating ourselves with the same tenderness we would offer a cherished friend.

I Learned the Hard Way

I once had to make a presentation to the heads of various businesses that operated under one overall brand. These were my peers—talented people that I worked closely with and respected. The presentations before me had been excellent. In the days before, I rehearsed over and over, but as soon as I stood to present, my mind went blank. I stumbled through the presentation, misquoted figures, and even forgot to mention our biggest accomplishment. As I finished, I felt a profound sense of failure. But, instead of punishing myself, as I reflected that night, I made the decision to practice self-kindness. I acknowledged that my presentation had not been great but also reminded myself that it was just one bad day and not a reflection of my entire career. And I learned. For future presentations, I kept my presentations simpler and shared them as stories—easier to remember and present.

Putting Self-Kindness to Work

Translating self-kindness into action requires an intentional shift in our daily routines. To begin, consider carving out protected time for reflection, reading, or any activity that nourishes your soul. Ask yourself, "What can I do for my wellbeing today? How can I make time for that?" Following your answers, commit to these activities by blocking your calendar, setting boundaries, and creating space for self-kindness to blossom.

This cultivation of self-kindness can be as simple as permitting yourself to take a guilt-free lunch break or making a conscious decision to switch off work-related thoughts after work hours. It can mean reminding yourself, “I did my best today,” instead of dwelling on what you couldn't achieve. In more challenging moments, self-kindness can manifest as the strength to seek help when needed.

The journey towards self-kindness also extends beyond the confines of the self. Encourage a trusted circle of friends or colleagues to join you on this journey, nurturing a culture of self-kindness and mutual support. By sharing your practices, you help spread the benefits of self-kindness, creating a network of individuals who are more balanced, fulfilled, and compassionate. These may seem like small steps, but each one paves the way for a larger transformation. A journey towards a kinder self and, ultimately, a kinder world.

Why Self-Kindness at Work Matters

Self-kindness is crucial for us to thrive at work for several reasons:

Emotional Equilibrium: Picture self-kindness as an inner companion who is understanding, compassionate, and accepting, particularly in times of adversity. This companion cultivates a dialogue of positivity and support within us, helping to balance our emotional seesaw. And it's this emotional equilibrium that drives our overall productivity and performance in the professional arena.

Diminishing Self-Criticism: Self-kindness acts as a balm for the wounds created by self-criticism. Self-critical thoughts and behaviours chip away at our self-esteem, fuel anxiety, and map a route to burnout. By inviting self-kindness in, we are able to recognise our shortcomings, learn from missteps, and climb the ladder of professional growth without being entangled in the thorns of self-criticism.

Boosting Motivation and Productivity: Think of self-kindness as a driver, fostering a positive mindset and a strong sense of self-worth—key factors in enhancing productivity. By acknowledging our efforts and celebrating small victories, we inspire a more rewarding work experience for everyone, which in turn leads to a richer workplace culture and better results.

Improved Work-Life Balance: Self-kindness serves as the scale that helps us weigh our priorities and establish boundaries, forging a healthier work-life balance. By prioritising our own wellbeing, we safeguard ourselves against burnout, maintain our energy reservoir, and sustain our performance over time. With self-kindness, we become more responsive to our needs and can take steps to ensure a balanced life.

Positive Relationships: The practice of self-kindness has a ripple effect on our interactions in the workplace. The kindness we extend to ourselves often spills over to our colleagues, paving the way for harmonious relationships and a nurturing work atmosphere. This encourages cooperation, teamwork, and overall job satisfaction.

Practicing self-kindness at work can help in countless areas. It can make you more open to constructive feedback, as you understand it's about improving, not a personal attack. It can aid you in setting boundaries, ensuring a better work-life balance. It can help you deal with imposter syndrome, keeping self-doubt at bay. It could even mean less stress, reduced burnout, and improved overall job satisfaction.

Embrace the Self-Kindness Already Within You

Pause and reflect. Imagine what it would feel like to embrace self-kindness and fully integrate it into your professional and personal lives. Picture yourself waking up each day, ready to embrace challenges, not with a lens of self-criticism but with a heart full of self-kindness. Imagine this power allowing you to stay resilient in the face of setbacks, ensuring your mental wellbeing, and fostering an environment of positivity and growth. All of this is possible. It starts with one kind thought about yourself.

Now it's your turn. Remember, the potential for self-kindness lies within each of us. It is not a trait we need to acquire; it's a seed that's already planted inside us, waiting to be nurtured. It's about silencing the harsh, judgmental voices and amplifying the gentle, forgiving ones. It’s about embracing failure, learning from it, and using it as a stepping stone to success. And above all, it's about giving ourselves permission to be human—flawed yet beautiful.

So embrace the power of self-kindness and watch as you become more content, more resilient, and more successful. With each act of kindness towards yourself, you are taking a significant step towards fostering a kinder, more supportive work environment and, beyond that, a kinder world. Let the journey of self-kindness begin. Today, right now, with you. Let it resonate through every action you take, every decision you make, and every interaction you have. Embrace the self-kindness within you—it's there, it's powerful, and it's yours to wield.